Judgment No More

Sep 11

me & stan

I am a childless, married woman on the wrong side of 35. I’m also a Personal Trainer with a specialty in “bride to baby” fitness. My certifications allow me to anoint other trainers in pre and postnatal fitness, educate my clients on childbirth, coach my clients during their labor & delivery and advise them along their nutrition journey. I absolutely love what I do – otherwise I’d be doing something else!

Since my bread and butter is earned working with women during the most important moments of their lives (weddings, pregnancy, childbirth and new motherhood), nosey strangers, curiosity-seeking clients and even friends who know better wonder why I haven’t had children. Questions and comments range from:

  • Why haven’t you had kids? You don’t want them?
  • I mean, you’d be a great mom! You should try it!
  • Don’t wait too long, you might regret it!
  • What a shame. You never really live until you’ve had kids.
  • I thought Stanley wanted a baby!?
  • Who’s going to take care of you when you’re old?!
  • Oh, your clock must not be ticking yet.
  • But they’d be so cute! Don’t you want to see what they’d look like?
  • Jenny, studies say mixed babies are the most beautiful!
  • What are you waiting for? There’s never the ‘right time’! Just take the plunge!
  • Hahaha! Everyone wants kids! You’re so funny! So when do you think you’ll start trying?

The list really is endless, manipulative and exhausting. Given my background (and my career) I think I’ve considered this issue more than 95% of the female population. Most, if not all, of my childhood friends have more than 7 children each. My immediate family has conceived more than 60 children. Conception, pregnancy, childbirth and motherhood are not lost on me. In fact, I may have seen too much. There’s probably nothing I don’t know about the process.

There’s no easy way out of these sticky engagements and I can’t win, no matter what I say. All I want is to enjoy where I’m at in my life. Whether or not I have children is my deep-seeded, intimate and personal choice and won’t be altered to please anyone else!

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